Thanks Kristin Cavallari - I Should Have Had Mediocre Expectations

It pains me to verbally admit this, I despise my absolute favorite pastime. Over the past two years I have tried really hard not to go shopping (my ex-favorite pastime). I have even tried to quit cold turkey a couple of times. I'll be honest, it hasn't been that hard, the Retirement Community isn't a shopping mecca. Despite my best efforts and the lack of phenomenal shopping, I caved. I have had some birthday money that has just been burning a hole in pocket. Truthfully, I started spending it on other things, practical things, and not frivolously on myself, so I decided I needed to hurry and go shopping before it was all gone ... a very mature decision.

I walked through the polished glass double doors of my new semi-favorite department store filled with such hope. Just like famous pregnant women, I knew my-glowing-self would breeze through pregnancy with style and poise. (Technically I am still applying shimmer powder to capture that glowing look, but no one needs to know that.) I knew other pregnant women would look at me in their sweatpants and instantly be filled with envy because I looked like a pregnant superstar. Thankfully, I'm not huge yet. Although the people at the gym, cast their judgement, the rest of the world minus my present wardrobe is just beginning to notice the baby bump. So this could only be a positive experience. However, my bubble deflated into a thousand soup suds in the dressing room. (Side note: Every time I type the word bubble I am reminded of my first AOL screen name BubblesLB - I rocked that screen name until I revamped it into the sexy SunkistdaisE.)

Back to the matter at hand. Nothing fits. Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. I thought larger sizes would be the solution and then I could just have everything altered after my extra weight departed and I would be stuck with pregnant clothes that I would never wear again. Wrong. Larger sizes swallowed me, which wasn't flattering. Although the skinniest parts of my body, my wrists and ankles, were still being accentuated, I looked like an over-sized version of one of my beloved Olsen twins.  If only old people had babies, then there would be a maternity store in the Retirement Community. I left the clothing section empty handed, and today I changed into gym shorts at work ... shameful I know! I decided that I didn't want to be one of those women who just buys shoes because clothes don't fit them, so I spent my birthday money on makeup.