What's Keeping Me Up at Night.

I'll be honest, I am sleeping just fine. Except for the not so rare occasion that my husband is snoring and then I just punch him ... he stops and I fall right asleep. It sounds violent, but studies show that if you get the breathing slightly off track the snoring stops. (This has been my personal study for the past 5 years. I do plan to publish my findings soon.) My blog title is just a cover so that I could have a reason to be random.

Random Thought #1.
 I am 99.9% sure that my neighbors sell drugs. I'm just leaving that .1% off so I don't sound judgmental and in the off chance that they are actually readers, they might be less likely to harm me if I wasn't 100% certain. They are so nice, and we really have had only had two incidents where we have been directly effected by their side business. One time their Yorkie tried to "borrow" some tools from our yard. They graciously brought the tools back after their "Yorkie" gently used them, which that was pretty nice of them considering that their small, but incredibly strong dog drug our tools all the way down the street to their house. The neighbor was right, it was a miracle. The second time we were directly effected was when some lady in a perfectly healthy coherent mental condition tried to come into our house to talk to "Robert*." (*Name has been changed for the protection of our neighbor). She insisted that he lived at our house, but we kindly pointed her in the correct direction. (Now we are officially enablers.) Magnus didn't even flinch during this encounter I, on the other hand, had my meat cutting knife ready to use at a moment's notice. I firmly believe that everyone should have a safe place to call home and that drugs should only be sold on street corners not the privacy of your house because let's face it, it's not private when the whole 'hood knows about your side business. Note: you can't offer someone at a gas station some Mollie and then head home only to find out that you really blew your cover because your new potential customer is also your neighbor. Neighborhood gossip rampantly spreads. Drugs affect the whole block.

Random Thought #2.
I need to go on Shark Tank, so I think I am going to invent some simplified baby equipment. I just don't understand how something so tiny could need so much equipment. It's all confusing, and just plain stressful. There should be one device that serves as a car seat, light weight carrying mobile (I'm so clueless I don't even know what that is called), and a stroller. I'm pretty sure my parents just put me in a box to hang out because I don't remember having that much stuff. I frankly don't see the need for half of it. I totally understand why women just strap the baby around them with a long cloth because that baby car seat thing is just WAY too heavy, and who wants to lug that hunk of a thing around when you can be hands-free. Therefore, there is a need for my invention. I need an engineer, someone with contacts in China, and a patent lawyer.

Random Thought #3.
While we are on the topic of baby equipment. I also need to start a website that has a list of stuff you really need, why, and where to get it. I don't want someone to sell me on their product. I just want the most lightweight and convenient devices. A convertible crib is pointless. When the second kid comes, it will need a place to live too. I'm not buying two cribs ... unless I get to have twins. Honestly what highschooler wants to claim that they are still sleeping in their crib because "awesomely" enough it turned into a twin bed or a double bed. I do however see the need for certain lavish devices. I have recently been mesmerized by is a stroller that is $1700. It's extremely practical: one touch opening feature, warms my hands on cold days, tracks my calories burned and distance walked, charges my phone, and that's only the beginning. When you think about it, it's really a WIN WIN. When you become a parent you have to be responsible, you can't be stranded without a phone. They don't have pay phones anymore.