Peace Out NICU

Deuces NICU. Adios. Hasta la vista. Ciao. 

... Well not quite, maybe by the end of the week we can officially say peace out. I'll be honest, I've been saying the girls should be coming home in a week or two since they arrived. BUT this time, I REALLY MEAN IT! We can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Call us naive, but we really had no clue they would be hanging out in the NICU for a month. During our first week there, we asked the nurse, "so where do they keep the really sick babies," and the nurse said in a deadpan tone "here." We were in Pod 2; the further back you are, the more critical. Now we are rocking out in Pod 6! 

If I could describe this experience in three words, it would be the most obvious three words: emotional roller coaster. I have felt extremely blessed by the outpouring of love that we have experienced. So many people have been praying for Livi and Lucy and loving on us. I couldn't imagine going through this journey if we didn't have people walking through it with us. In the midst of gratitude, I have been ridden with guilt. Guilt because my body failed me and they were born two months early (I know what you are thinking and yes, you are right, I was in complete control over when they were born). Guilt from leaving them to go take care of Elle. Guilt from leaving Elle to go take care of them. Guilt from going to Home Goods to buy lamps and Dillards to buy eye shadow and to shop the Labor Day sale ... Note: I only bought eye shadow nothing else for myself, so I'm really not that awful of a parent. Guilt for not writing Thank You cards to everyone ... Note: the longer it takes me to write them, the less likely I am to actually write them. So to you who took time to do something nice for our family thank you and I'm sorry this thank you didn't promptly arrive in your mailbox the next week. After hours of feeling guilty, I find myself back to feeling blessed because our girls are healthy and are fighters, which is promptly followed by another wave of guilt because our girls are healthy. Unlike the precious angel in the pod over who has been there for 6 months and her family had to finally say goodbye to her. It breaks my heart every time I think about them going through this journey and it not ending with them bringing their baby home. I know that everyone in the NICU and the whole entire hospital for that fact has a heavy heart and is desperately praying for a miracle. I know how truly fortunate we are, so now I'm back to gratitude.

Everyday, I take a much needed break from my wide range of emotions to become obsessed with kilograms. I feel like a drug dealer consumed with kilos, a mathematician as I convert those kilos to pounds and ounces, and a champion for the Metric System ... life would be so much easier if we ditched the Standard System and jumped on board with the Metric System. 

Through this storm, God has provided us with countless moments of comic relief, and for that I am once again incredibly thankful. And thank you to the dad who was astonished by the amount of breastmilk I made as we were turing in our liquid gold. You made my day, and made me feel like I truly accomplished something great! 

Livi Jo and Lucy Cate

Yesterday, I unexpectedly welcomed my very own real-life version of Mary-Kate and Ashley to this world. After we changed Mary-Kate and Ashley's names approximately a thousand times we decided on Livi Jo and Lucy Cate. Livi's namesake is Livi from The Good Dinosaur that is the name Travis picked out, and Lucy's namesake is obviously I Love Lucy because who doesn't love Lucy! The girls decided to make their grand entrance 8 weeks early at 32 weeks. Knowing my track-record: am I really in labor? ... yes, you are totally majorly in labor, there was no stopping them.  

Mid-morning on Monday, when I felt a little jab in my stomach, I, of course chalked it up to gas combined with an achy back. I decided to start working on some content writing and watch a Hallmark Channel movie ... I'll be honest I mostly watched the Hallmark Channel movie because the jabs persisted. Obviously, the only thing that could fix it was a popsicle. My miracle on a stick lasted about an hour, and then everything came back full force.

Lucy Cate Warren - Lucy is wild, hence her baby Einstein hair

After being on bed rest for 8 weeks, I was determined to keep former Mary-Kate and Ashley in for at least 6 more weeks, so I ignored all signs and decided I could will the pain to go away on my own ... so that totally worked until about 3:30 (sike ... it never worked). Stuck in after-school traffic on my way to pick Elle up, my medically-educated-better-half persuaded me to call the doctor. I didn't want to end up on an even more extreme bed rest, so I refused at first, but then a jab caught my attention, and a car was trying to change lanes and backed everyone up and I was stuck, so I reluctantly called. Reality began to set in when they made me come in for a check. I was flat out scared. Warning skip this sentence if technicalities gross you out. I was at a 4 in the office, and by the time I was wheeled over the labor and delivery I was at a 6. Plan A - stop contractions ... apparently my little popsicle remedy was ineffective and jabs were actual contractions ... was thrown out the window. Plan B - transport me to a hospital with a NICU was thrown out of the window due to weather and my fast progression. Leaving me with Plan C - deliver babies ASAP.

Livi Jo Warren - Livi is calm and mellow totally opposite from
the womb.

Although Plan C is rarely anyone's favorite plan. It was God's plan, and He was definitely taking care of me. My doctor was still there, my anesthesia friend was on call and to top it off I had a happy surprise, my friend's mom was my nurse. I knew everyone who was taking care of me! I was in great hands and everyone forgave me for breaking my brave face to momentarily flip out from time to time. Who knew spelling Travis's middle name could be so emotional.

Angel 1

At 17:32 and 17:34, which in case you didn't know that is equivalent to 5:32 and 5:34 pm, we were welcoming Baby A and Baby B. Logically we opted for the trusty alphabetical order to determine the names of Baby A and Baby B - Baby A weighed in at 3 lbs 11 oz and 17 in and Baby B weighed in at 3 lbs 10 oz and 17 in. Unlike Mary-Kate and Ashley, Livi and Lucy are genuine rock stars. They were breathing on their own and didn't have to be intubated last night. In fact, they were only given a nasal cannula. They have started breast milk through a tube today. I haven't gotten to hold them or truly look at their faces yet. I saw their profile and touched their hand though a window in their transport case right before they were airlifted on Angel 1 to Children's hospital.

I am 99% confident that Elle has no idea what is going on. I am also 99% confident that these girls don't like me because they have figured out how to shorten my maternity leave since I had strategically figured out how to include Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks into my time off! Silly girls! I guess Elle will remain my favorite ... totally kidding, you can't have favorites with your own kids ... right?! Or can you?

In a community that I was reluctant to call home, I have been blown away by the number of people who came to visit or have reached out to checked on two precious little girls that aren't even at the hospital with me. In the past two days, I have realized that I am home and this is home for my family. We have truly been blessed with an amazing set of friends and church family.

Right before they were airlifted. This has been
my only contact with them, a quick hand shake.

Right before they boarded Angel 1 

Lucy and Daddy

Livi and Daddy

Warren Party of Five

I've taken a short hiatus, and naturally I had to come back with a bang! It's not a typo and yes, we did our math correctly. Our party is growing from a party of three to a party of five. (Side note: I always did like the TV show Party of Five ... even though my mom said it wasn't age appropriate.) ... so I guess this is Karma.

For the most part the babies are out of the bag. We are having twins! After the initial shock settled in and we stopped laughing, we have not been able to keep this news a secret ... so this is probably old news and you could care less at this point. We have been total hypocrites and told our family they couldn't tell anyone, and then we told everyone we saw ... the cashier at Kroger, guy cleaning our carpet, the lady at the red light next to us; practically the whole retirement community knows. It's been so fun to see people's reaction. Their first instinct has been that we were kidding, and we have watched them intently study the ultra sound to see if it is a hoax. Then they kindly remind us that we will have three under the age of two.

Anyone who has known me for most of my life, knows that this is an absolute dream come true. Since, I couldn't be a twin, I have always wanted twins. I think my obsession with twins started with Full House and the Olsen twins. (Travis's obsession started this summer when he discovered the awful reality TV show Twinning.) I have already decided if Mary-Kate and Ashley can't make an appearance for the second season of the rebut Fuller House, I have two little nuggets on the way that will gladly take their spot! It should be no problem. After all, I was the president of the Mary-Kate and Ashley fan club and I own all their tapes. Did you know that they will solve any crime by dinnertime? But honestly according to my third-grade self, I owe these miracles all to my drug free lifestyle.

My only hope for them is that is Sam's Club Sample People are nicer to these twins than they were me and my imaginary identical twin. ... hey if it's good you owe it to yourself to get seconds.