Pretty Sure My New Snack Rivals Jessica Simpson's Buttered Pop-Tarts

You know you have hit a low point in life when that is your blog title, but when you are obsessed with your new snack, you must dutifully inform others so they can experience mouth-watering greatness, too. This "skinny" obsessed girl has transformed into a closet eater.  Note: I am really not obsessed with actually being skinny only with the word skinny. I'll buy anything if it has the word skinny on it, but that was a previous blog, and I have learned my lesson. Not everything with the word skinny on it is good. (Cough Skinnygirl Wine) Also Note: I'm not really sure if you can classify your eating habits as "closet eating" if you are sitting on your couch with the bag and jar hanging out next to you.
I have discovered a sinful treat that I fill obligated to share because I am pretty sure it will transform your life, too. Chocolate Oreos smothered in Chocolate Jif. I have also mixed this with chocolate pudding, too. I keep it healthy by only using 60 calorie sugar free pudding.

At first I contributed my "fat girl" treat to depression. I could write a laundry list of things to be depressed about. I still don't have a job, and it's September. I've been denied social services, which didn't surprise me one bit. I still don't have a stinking library card. Apparently my driver's license, proof of residency, and passport was still not enough information for the Garland County Library because my SSN is not on any of those documents. (Yes, I am calling you out because America should be outraged by your library card stinginess.) Apparently Arkansas's policy is that illegal aliens are not allowed to read because they do not have SSN. I still haven't decided if I want to persevere and get a card or just give up. Part of me says, "Screw National Get Your Library Card Month," and the other part of me says,  "I want to tattle to the National Library Association so they can know about my struggles."  I won't drone on about that issue. I haven't been shopping in over a month, and I broke my dry spell. I went to a store (not even a good store) this past weekend, and the store's door shut on me so fast that it scrapped my ankle causing me to bleed and limp. I didn't even get free apparel for my injury so I'm contemplating a lawsuit. I would like to say that all of these issues have caused me to come home and eat my new snack, but they haven't. Sadly I am not depressed about my current situation. In fact, I find it quite humorous and am using it for material for my first novel. Be proud, 9 chapters and 26,526 words so far. I'm pretty sure I can score a Lifetime movie deal. Despite my lack of depression, I am a little irate over the library card incident because I think it is just plain tacky to reject me of a simple free card twice.

I have to contribute my sinful treat to my rich taste buds, and I can't call them taste bros after this treat because they are causing me to pack on the pounds. I highly recommend gaining a few pounds and tasting my Fall Treat!