Just be still and KNOW that I am God

I blinked and Christmas was over. I was fully aware that I wasn't in the Christmas spirit, and yet, I just didn't care. I was jaded from last year's Christmas dissatisfaction - it seemed like everyone had an issue with their gift. I was aggravated by how busy we were going to be during Christmas. I didn't want to hop from one house to the next house. I wanted to relax. (Side note: I fully believe that people should show a tad bit more appreciation for the Christmas traveler because it can be a complete beat down to travel during the Holidays.) I wanted Christmas to be about me. I wanted a fatter bank account so that I could buy anything and everything I wanted. I made a Christmas list and secretly/silently (sometimes not silently) demanded that every item be bought for me (Side note: If you would like to purchase any unpurchased items for me, just let me know - totally kidding (but really let me know)). In a year that I didn't need to be spending money, I found myself obsessively shopping, planning and worrying, having many 'keeping up with the Jones' moments, and doing anything and everything but celebrating the true meaning of Christmas.

And that's when Psalm 46:10 slapped me in the face, 'Just be still and know that I am God.' Throughout 2013 I have learned many valuable lessons and experienced many blessings, and yet, I still found myself missing the ball completely. I put everything above Christmas. I've realized I haven't focused on what's truly important in life. I have tried be my own god and I am simply not God. I can't be perfect and have everything I want. I will sometimes flat out not get my way. I am never going to have the most coveted closet or be the skinniest. It will never rain hundred dollar bills at my house. I won't be the most successful, and I can't climb every ladder. I won't be the best gift-giver, and sometimes I will just have to make a sacrifice and travel during the holidays. And that's alright. Someone will always outshine me, and that revelation doesn't scream poor self-esteem: it screams reality.  I need to stop chasing materialistic things because I wasn't put on this earth to accomplish materialistic success. I don't know what my life's purpose is yet, but I know what it isn't. I know that I should have stepped out of traffic, walked out of busy stores, and taken a long-loving look at the wonder of Christmas. I should have been in awe about Christmas. How could you not be in awe about someone who knows every selfish motive, witnesses every sin, and sees every tear, and yet loves you enough to send His son to earth to die for you?

My resolution for 2014 will be - to simply just be still.