Job Hunting is a Beast

I'll talk fashion. I'll talk nails. I'll talk depression.

I'm not a good job hunter. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, "Job Hunting is not my favorite past time." I don't feel the need to stalk someone endlessly to prove that I'm a hard worker. Stalking does not equal perseverance in my book; it equals crazy. I'm also not going to read a book on how to get hired because let's face it, your book worked for well ... you, and probably no one else. If there were a true trick, we'd all have jobs. I have a good resume, great references, and don't kiss any tail. I'm pretty sure that last quality is why I am not a good job hunter. I was never the teacher's pet; if they liked me it was because I awkwardly made them laugh, not because, despite my maiden name, I was a brown nose. As an unemployed teacher, I saw right through those "special" children. I know how to sell myself. I know how to dress for an interview. I just don't know how to make you hire me, and I know how to not get my hopes up that you do so I can cushion the blow when you don't. 

Every time I was rejected as a kid, I told myself it was because I was going to be a famous actress and I needed to get use to the rejection. (Mary-Kate and Ashley were going to be my BFF - true story.) Well I'm not famous and they aren't my friends, so I don't know how to comfort my job hunting woes. I didn't have a passion for acting, I just wanted free clothes from designers. I'm mean who doesn't? Back to the issue at hand: How to be a good job hunter. Job hunting is much like my road to fame, going no where fast! I always thought I would be discovered one day out shopping, and someone who say, "Hey let me make you famous." I looked like a soap star as a kid - Robin from General Hospital - so this was totally plausible to me; people always came up to me in the supermarket to tell my mom how famous I looked.

Lesson One: No one will discover me in the supermarket.  ... Unless I am bagging my own groceries, and they offer me a job as a bagger. These days, job hunting is completely digital, which I hate because it is the same format/application as about 1,000 other applicants, and there is no way for me to stand out. It's not like I would normally go Elle Woods from Legally Blonde hand you a resume on pink paper, but I at least need the ability to separate myself from the crowd. That's why people should be able to create a "Hire Me" website. I can fill you in on my accolades, show you my creativity, give you an example of a lesson I would teach, and differiate myself for the thousands of other applicants.

Lesson Two: Figure out what kind of job you really want. This I have not mastered. I don't know what my dream job would be. I love teaching, but I want to leave work, and be done with work for the day or weekend. I do love clothing. Maybe I could teach people how to dress.

Lesson Three: Patience is key. I have taken a crap job in fear that I will have no job. Consequently, I have been stuck in said crap job for years. Be picky, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. I understand that I need an income, so I can't be too picky, but I know that God has a plan for me and a phenomenal job picked out for me.

I'll fill you in on the rest of my lessons learned on my road to employment. - Lesson Four: I think I'd rather start a business and hire myself, than go on another failed interview.